This is a first draft of a poem I am working on. Any feedback will be appreciated.
I have the heart of a lover,
but a wallet of the poor, if
I were standing in the rain
would you open up your door?
When you stare into my eyes
do you see heaven or do
you see hell?
Other women could take
away my pain but only
temporary for the only cure
is if you and I were to marry
Alas, I am alone singular just I
it seems. No us or togetherness
we form no team.
but a wallet of the poor, if
I were standing in the rain
would you open up your door?
When you stare into my eyes
do you see heaven or do
you see hell?
Other women could take
away my pain but only
temporary for the only cure
is if you and I were to marry
Alas, I am alone singular just I
it seems. No us or togetherness
we form no team.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kevin Johnson on -
Thanks for your feedback. I am glad you enjoyed it. I am getting back into poetry now after 14 years. I took creative writing in high school, but lost the urge until recently. Now I write even if I don't feel like it...lol
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